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Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Wall

As you know from my previous posts I have been hard at work with my CBT and ACT practices,trying to overcome the gut wrenching fear I have every time I leave the house. Well, I have been really pushing my boundaries trying to kick this thing in the butt but the last several times I have been out I hit what I call "The Wall". I liken it to that "wall" that athletes talk about when they reach their physical limit and seem not to be able to surpass a particular point. I will be going about life in the big bad world, contently running errands with my husband (this is really the only time I push myself to the limits) then out of nowhere the panic hits me like a cement truck. What happened to the warning bells I used to get. The predictable rhythm of my anxious self? I am not saying that the precursory heart palpitations and heaving stomach was fun but at least I had time to run for cover. This new sensation of out of nowhere panic is awful. Have any of you experienced this change in pattern? What did you do? I find myself second guessing what I am trying to achieve. Wondering if its not better to avoid the chance of attack. I guess it comes down to whether I want to be absent and strong or human and present. I think I choose present.....today anyway....I may have a different answer tomorrow. My thoughts are with you - Tracy