Friday, 27 September 2013

Is Social Media a Band-Aid for Social Anxiety or Is It A Possible Treatment

The thing about social anxiety is's really hard to find people struggling with it because we are all shut up in our houses. Daily I am bombarded with studies about Social Media and how it is creating an environment of anti-social behaviour among families.  It is not uncommon to see people walking down the street checking their online presence or sitting in a restaurant with each person peering at their phone.  I agree people are getting to engrossed in the virtual life and not engaging in the real world enough.  That being said, without social media I would not be making the strides that I am in my own journey.  The people that I have met through Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and other sites have encouraged me and inspired me through things that people in my "real world" could never truly understand.  Without social media to give me a soap box to stand on to shout out my discontentment at the world I might feel smaller than I do.  Without social media I would not have to strength to tell others what I am struggling with and in turn listen to their concerns with their own lives.  I think of the famous recluses of the past Greta Garbo, Emily Dickinson, J.D. Salinger and Harper Lee, what effect would social media have had on their lives. Would their work have been more brilliant from the benefit of being able to share ideas with others, or does their genius stem from their isolation.  I think social media may be a double edged sword. For those individuals that are out there in the world able to socialize and have a life it may be stunting their social skills. For those of us that are forced to observe life from the sidelines I think it is a lifeline, forever pulling us back into society.  I am hopeful that whatever tool you have at your disposal today, be it social media, a phone or the opportunity to get out of the house...use it.....push thoughts and prayers are with your always.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Getting Stronger Every Day

Well my friends I have been MIA again. My apologies. I have exciting news to share though, so perhaps that will help you to overlook the entire absence.  On Saturday I participated in my first craft show. Really! I even have pictures to prove it. I, Tracy Marlene Sagriff packed up my little craft stash and headed out into the big bad  world. From a fiscal prospective it was not a very lucrative venture but from a therapeutic standpoint it was a pivotal moment for me.  Sure, I felt like I MIGHT die several times during the day....and nearly threw up a time or two...I remained. Better yet, I smiled and was engaging. It may surprise you to hear that I even forced myself to make the loop around the show to interact and establish a rapport with the other vendors. I paid a hefty price Saturday night and Sunday but I think it was well worth it. My confidence in my ability to move past this debilitating disorder is at the highest point it has been in a really long time. I planned the excursion out beforehand to ensure that I had supports in place just in case. I made sure that the woman running the event was aware that I needed a booth near an exit and I also had my Mom and great friend stay with me. Knowing that these supports were in place gave me the courage to push myself. We are all stronger than we think. Sometimes we just need to prove it to ourselves. My thoughts and prayers are with you - Tracy

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Running on Overload

Hello Friends. I apologise for my absence the last couple of weeks. Last week my youngest child started Kindergarten and I was struggling with having him go. I don't think it is a matter of my anxiety issues (though I am sure that did not help) but rather just the regular empty nest thing. It is so hard for me to let them go out into the world without me. Of course I don't want to be out there and they need to be so I guess I have to just let go. I am also struggling with readjusting to life at home vs the trailer. Transitions seem to be a challenge for me anymore. I have nearly stopped shaking most of the time. Even out in the real world people are noticing that my tremor is less pronounced. I am feeling good about that as now I don't feel like everyone will be looking at me. (Not that they ever really were) just my insecurity on how the shaking made me look. This week I had the best of intentions of returning to the blog but then guess what I did. Tuesday night when I went to take my night meds I accidently had the pill minder backwards in the dimly lit kitchen and I took my Wednesday AM meds. My daily dosage of Zoloft is 175 mg and I ended up taking it twice. Add to that the fact that I took it instead of the Zopiclone I should have been taking and you have one sick Mamma. Obviously I did not even close my eyes on Tuesday night. I sat and watched the clock move excrutiatingly slow all night long. I got really annoyed several times during the night at my husband. It felt to me that his snoring was just some way of rubbing it in that he was asleep. It was not until Wednesday morning that I realized what I had done. By then my husband was gone to work and the kids were at school so I just lay on the couch and hoped the ill effects would pass. Of course I still could not sleep until later afternoon and then I did not want to because I knew if I did I would be up again all night. Nausous and headachy I was determined to stick it out. I went through the whole gambit of side effects that I have gone through each time my meds were increased and I was in misery. I am thankful to be feeling much better today. I can't believe I made such a silly mistake. It scares me to think how one blip like that can wreak such havoc. Have you ever made a mistake with your medication? I wonder how common it is. I wish I knew of a better way to keep track. Oh well. I lived to fight another day. So I guess the post has a happy ending. My thoughts and prayers are with you. P.S. I am going to do a post on the most helpful mood monitoring apps for Android phones. If you have a favourite that you would like me to include/ check out let me know.