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Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Priorities

Hello my friends. It seems that each time I am posting I am apologising for my absence. The funny thing is that I tend to do that in life as well. Oh, did you run over my foot with your shopping cart...I'm sorry I was in your way. You took my parking space, Im sorry I did not know you wanted it. You think that I abandoned you and ruined your life....I am so sorry that you were not adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Thats my life in a nutshell. I am sorry....whatever has happened...whatever the cause.....I am sorry...it must have been my fault.
So, priorities....I have been away...well I was here but somehow I lost my ability to reflect on my life....so I am back...but likely very sporadically. My priorities have to be my family...and saving what energy I have to take care of them. You know how exhausting depression and anxiety are and I am most definitely in a valley. So though I will try to post as often as I can, I am not going to apologise for the length between posts anymore.

I dropped out of the ACT group. Sorry, I was not sure how to mention that. It was too much for me. It is sort of a sore spot for me even now.

Today I received a copy of some affidavits that have been submitted in a case that I am involved in. A child I once called my son will no longer be. I am relieved on some levels and crushed beyond belief in others. Being a good person does not always guarantee you an easy life. Love does not conquer all. We can't just snap out of depression. Wanting something to work sometimes does not make it happen. Sometimes life just sucks, good guys get hurt....or run into the back of transports as the case may be. There is no rhyme or reason to anything. My Faith and My Family are the only things that keep me going. So right now, my priorities are focussing on them until I can handle more.

Today I ask that you pray for me to see beyond the current valley. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.