Who holds you up?

January always gets me thinking about the past, reflecting on what went right or wrong during the year. I think that is pretty typical. When I was reflecting today on the road that I had travelled this year it made me exceptionally grateful. This past year at times had me hanging at the end of the proverbial rope by my finger nails and yet I am still here. With the support of amazing forums and communities I have found the support of so many people, not only those that suffer from #mentalhealth issues but just random people that took the time to help me up.

Great Moments of 2013 that really sucked at the time:

1. Forcing myself to walk the paltry 4 houses down the road to welcome our new neighbours:  gained me one of my closest friends and her wonderful family, a scrapping pal, co-conspirator and tea time chatter
2.  Attending a group therapy series: that as the name implies made me go where there was an actual group of strangers...and forced me to talk about myself in front of them gained confidence in my ability to overcome obstacles, fleshed out my practical use of CBT and met an extraordinary group of people who like me, work on their mental health challenges everyday.
3. Quit Homeschooling....ok, this one still rubs me a bit as I loved having my kids with me and helping them explore new topics: my children have expanded their personal circles, their confidence has risen, I am forced to imagine a life that does not involve having my kids with me every moment (thus lessening but not eliminating the fear that without them I would cease to exist) and the extra time has allowed me to pursue activities that are helping my mental health
4. Created my blogs. The only part that I really hated was hitting the publish button that first time. It was like that horrible panic that hits just before you are faced with your worst fear. I now have two blogs that bring me connections with people all over the world including my new friend +kerry connelly who I admire so much.
5. .Diving into direct sales. I am not even sure how I managed to get myself involved...oh yah...refer to #1 and my acquaintance with Mrs. Fillery. She invited me to a Close to My Heart party, which usually I would not have even tried to attend, but I went...shaky and all. I have a new business that allows me to schedule my appointments around therapy and my children's school...and my anxiety I guess too. 

There were allot more but I am sure you get the picture. This year really reinforced in me that if we are willing to try we are further ahead than if we stay back and fear we will fail. At least by taking the step, knocking on the door, showing up, hitting publish....I am allowing myself the chance to succeed. What step can you take today that will give you a chance to live the life you dream of. My thoughts and prayers are with you.