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Thursday, 12 September 2013

Running on Overload

Hello Friends. I apologise for my absence the last couple of weeks. Last week my youngest child started Kindergarten and I was struggling with having him go. I don't think it is a matter of my anxiety issues (though I am sure that did not help) but rather just the regular empty nest thing. It is so hard for me to let them go out into the world without me. Of course I don't want to be out there and they need to be so I guess I have to just let go. I am also struggling with readjusting to life at home vs the trailer. Transitions seem to be a challenge for me anymore. I have nearly stopped shaking most of the time. Even out in the real world people are noticing that my tremor is less pronounced. I am feeling good about that as now I don't feel like everyone will be looking at me. (Not that they ever really were) just my insecurity on how the shaking made me look. This week I had the best of intentions of returning to the blog but then guess what I did. Tuesday night when I went to take my night meds I accidently had the pill minder backwards in the dimly lit kitchen and I took my Wednesday AM meds. My daily dosage of Zoloft is 175 mg and I ended up taking it twice. Add to that the fact that I took it instead of the Zopiclone I should have been taking and you have one sick Mamma. Obviously I did not even close my eyes on Tuesday night. I sat and watched the clock move excrutiatingly slow all night long. I got really annoyed several times during the night at my husband. It felt to me that his snoring was just some way of rubbing it in that he was asleep. It was not until Wednesday morning that I realized what I had done. By then my husband was gone to work and the kids were at school so I just lay on the couch and hoped the ill effects would pass. Of course I still could not sleep until later afternoon and then I did not want to because I knew if I did I would be up again all night. Nausous and headachy I was determined to stick it out. I went through the whole gambit of side effects that I have gone through each time my meds were increased and I was in misery. I am thankful to be feeling much better today. I can't believe I made such a silly mistake. It scares me to think how one blip like that can wreak such havoc. Have you ever made a mistake with your medication? I wonder how common it is. I wish I knew of a better way to keep track. Oh well. I lived to fight another day. So I guess the post has a happy ending. My thoughts and prayers are with you. P.S. I am going to do a post on the most helpful mood monitoring apps for Android phones. If you have a favourite that you would like me to include/ check out let me know.