Beyond New Year's Resolutions: Finding Strength in a Theme Song

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Beyond Resolutions: Finding Identity in the Song

As I have said before, I am not big on New Year's resolutions. To me, they seem like futile attempts to do things you already know you should do but don't really want to. I get it—it often feels like a reason to hold off on starting something new, only to become an excuse for why we didn't follow through.

No thanks.

In recent years, I’ve noticed a beautiful movement away from resolutions in favor of fresh inspiration. Choosing a "Word of the Year," creating a vision board, or selecting a theme song are all positive ways to fill up your motivation tank without the pressure of perfection.

Strength in the Darkest Days

Last year sucked for me. Things happened in my life that I could never have imagined in my worst nightmares. Ironically, despite the pain, I am feeling stronger and more empowered than I have in years.

Every day, I struggle with the symptoms of my mental health. I often feel like I am losing ground. It seems, though, that the darker my life gets, the more I can see how I am being held up by God. This year, my theme song allows me to admit that it’s okay to not be okay, because that is exactly where I find strength and love.

"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know..."

"You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours"

Taking all I have and laying it down—every failure and every victory—is where I find my worth. In the middle of the "messy middle," I choose to believe what is said of me, rather than what my anxiety tells me.

Stay strong,
— Tracy

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A Note from AWOMW: This is a legacy post from our archives. While the season of resolutions may have passed, the search for identity remains. We invite you to join our community for current lived-experience wellness and honest conversation.

Join us on Substack for the full blueprint:
aworldoutsidemywindow.substack.com

Emotional Portages: Honoring the Legacy of Christopher Dutton and the Sanctuary of Algonquin Park

Sometimes, the most profound experiences come from the most unexpected encounters. Years ago, I met an author named Christopher Dutton. He was a true character—eccentric and unforgettable, sporting a suit jacket, a bow tie, and a fedora... all paired with shorts. He carried a perspective that I’d describe as "glass half empty," but when he handed me a copy of Firestorm and Other Pieces of Wind, I realized his depth was boundless.

I braced myself for a dutiful reading of what I thought would be little more than a colorful park brochure with a few characters to differentiate it. Instead, I was launched into a series of emotional portages. This book is a masterpiece that deals with grief, loss, self-discovery, and love with a depth that holds you captive.

"The depth of the characters draws you in and holds you captive, much like a small vessel held fast by the currents of the rivers that are the canvas on which this masterpiece was written. This collection has become one of my favourite books and a must-read for every person who has ever dealt with the ongoing challenges and victories that life brings. The author brought the very feel of the air and smell of the earth that I had stored in the recesses of my memory back to life, and I felt that I had returned to my youth and back to the sanctuary of Algonquin Park."

The Sanctuary of Algonquin Park

As a long-time advocate for using nature as a tool for mental wellness, I was struck by how Dutton used the rivers and woods of Algonquin Park as his canvas. He brought the very feel of the air and the smell of the earth back to life for me. Reading it felt like returning to the sanctuary of my youth.

For my community here at A World Outside My Window, I know how often we deal with the "ongoing challenges and victories" of life. This collection has become one of my favorite books because it acknowledges the weight of those challenges while celebrating the beauty of the journey.

2026 Reflection: Finding Calm in the Wild

Since first writing this review, I’ve realized that we all need our own "Algonquin Park"—a mental or physical space where we can process our grief and rediscover ourselves. Christopher Dutton’s work reminds us that even when someone sees the glass as half empty, they can still fill a page with enough soul to help someone else feel whole again.

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In Memoriam: Christopher Dutton (1947–2021)

Obituary:
DUTTON, Christopher – Peacefully at the Belleville General Hospital on Monday, October 4, 2021, in his 75th year. Christopher Dutton, of Belleville, was the son of the late Jack and Margaret Dutton.

Christopher was a well-known local author and poet, deeply connected to the natural beauty of Ontario and a frequent visitor to the wilderness of Algonquin Park. His writing captured the essence of the Canadian landscape and the complexities of the human spirit. He will be remembered for his sharp wit, his unique perspective on life, and his unwavering commitment to the craft of storytelling.
— Source: The Belleville Intelligencer / Burke Funeral Home

Finding out about Christopher’s passing was heartbreaking. Meeting him in that suit jacket, bow tie, and fedora remains one of my favorite memories. He was a character who might have seen the glass as half empty, but he filled mine to the brim with his words.

By sharing this review today, I hope to keep his "emotional portages" moving forward. Christopher, thank you for bringing the smell of the earth and the feel of the air back to me. You are missed, but through your masterpieces—from Firestorm to The Bent Tree and the Sleeping Tiger—you are still very much here.

Do you have a physical place that feels like a sanctuary to you? A park, a garden, or a memory? Feel free to share it in the comments below.

My 8-Week Mindfulness Challenge: Reviewing Tanya J Peterson’s Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety

There are some resources that simply need the right time to enter our lives. When I first received a review copy of The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety: The 8-Week Solution to Help You Manage Anxiety, Worry & Stress by Tanya J Peterson, I flipped through its pages. I’ll be honest: nothing really spoke to me. I wasn’t ready for its message.

The Breakthrough: Committing to the Journey

That initial dismissal was a mistake. When I finally had the opportunity to actually try the program as an 8-week journey rather than just reference reading, I realized what a gem I had been given. The power of this workbook is in its structure.

The steps are all laid out for you. You are guided from understanding the basics of mindfulness to implementing daily practices that gently reshape how you interact with your own thoughts. Is every suggestion going to be your absolute favorite? Probably not. Not every tool will be your "cup of tea," and that is perfectly okay.

Building Your Personal Toolkit

The magic isn't in finding a single, perfect solution. It’s in the *process*. Going through this workbook at least once will help you build a personalized, robust arsenal of tools that *do* work for you. You’ll learn which breathing exercises truly calm your central nervous system and which mindful grounding techniques bring you back to the present when the world gets too loud.

As a long-time combatant of anxiety and depression, I am very careful about what I recommend. I would highly and sincerely recommend trying this program. But here is my advice: don't just "read" it.

My 2026 Refresh: The 8-Week Challenge

Looking back at my original notes on this workbook, I am reminded that the key is commitment. Actually, give it the full 8 weeks. Be sure to really commit to the process, even when it feels challenging or redundant. The transformation happens not in a single exercise, but in sustained practice.

You can find my original review on Goodreads here, but I hope you will stick around for this deep dive.

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Let’s Do This Together: Join the 8-Week Challenge

Are you ready to commit to building your own toolkit for managing anxiety? Grab your copy of the workbook and get ready to start our 8-week journey!

Get the Workbook on Amazon

Roots of the matter

Last week I received a review copy of
The Self Esteem Workbook for Women.

That is not earth shattering news as I receive books to review almost daily. The significance was the way the book resounded with me.

For the last seven years of this Mental Health journey I have been tapping every tree in search of a cure for my anxiety and depression. You have all travelled along the path with me through countless counsellors, therapies and pills. Many times I have been asked if I love myself. No one ever asked me why I found it hard to answer.

When I think back to those dark days last December when I was ready to give up and end it all I remember thinking about how I was a burden and the world would be better off without me, my family would be better off.  Then this book arrives. On page 3 the Author Megan MacCutcheon tells us:

"Self-esteem isn't about being perfect or about having the approval of others around us. Rather, it's about accepting yourself the way you are and maintaining an intrinsic belief that you are a good and worthy person simply because you exist as a human."

Shut the front door! We are worthy just because we exist. BAM! Take that world that tells us we need to be skinny, beautiful, young, smart......anything that we are not. After 43 years of being on this planet I have finally been told the secret to surviving my mental health challenges "I am worthy just because I exist!" So there voices from the past telling me I need to be the perfect daughter, sister, student, mother, wife, employee, boss,......I am worthy, and now I know it. So now I have a clear path on how to face each day. Whatever I do, what ever happens, my value does not decrease because I am in charge of setting the value knowing that I am enough.

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1641520132/ref=cm_sw_r_other_taa_wMmpBbXX7NZG5

Imprints on our mind or heart?

Last week I began working with a new counsellor. This particular counsellor has vast experience working with Women who have experienced significant trauma in their lives. It is still a form of  talk therapy but it seems more structured.  I really like structure. The more rules and regulations the better. I won't even walk in an exit at Wal-Mart.

Last week's homework consisted of using two images (one of a young girl and another of a young woman) and I was to write the things that each had been told that influenced my self image.

I of course spent the first hour avoiding the task by convincing myself it was important to colour in the images in order to relate to them.  When I finally picked up my pen and began writing I was shocked at how fast all those hurtful words came rushing back. It was like I was there, reliving each moment of it. When I had finished the assignment I was a bit dismayed at how my brain had held onto those moments of my life. Like some sadistic author writing the very worst moments of my life into an autobiography.

I wondered since my brain had all these memories what else was hidden in there. I went back to the picture of the little girl and let my mind drift back looking for happy moments it had recorded for me. It was a struggle. That is not to say that my childhood was not filled with many happy moments. Why then was it so hard to pull those memories back?

The only two memories that I could reach for that little girl was a sunny summer day,  my Mom was with me out behind our house. Our cat had kittens and I picked them all up in one armfull and hugged them close to my chest. They were so soft and cuddly and the day so perfect.  Then they peed all down the front of my one piece orange and yellow terrycloth jumper. All I could feel in that memory was the bliss of  the sunshine, the kittens and the safety of my Mother's watchful eye.

My second memory is of my maternal Grandmother. I remember being in her apartment and she had a birthday party for me. It was the first time I learned about sticking balloons to a wall by rubbing them in your hair. I can smell her cold cream, her thick red lipstick,  the faint smell of cigarette smoke. I could feel how special it all was. How special I was to her. That's it.

Then I remembered the passage in the bible that said "and Mary carried all these things in her heart". I was mistakenly searching for my happy memories in my mind, when they were in fact stored in my heart. I hope after all the doctors and therapists are done excorcising all my warped perceptions of the past I will find someone who can teach me how to unlock all those good ones locked away in my heart.

What I Learned from 7 Days in a Psychiatric Ward: Finding Sanctuary and Connection Behind Locked Doors

Wow, I never thought I would be saying that. Seven days. I was there for seven consecutive 24-hour periods. To put it in perspective, when they removed my appendix, I was in the hospital for two nights; when they removed a tumor from my stomach by cutting me hip to hip, I was home by 10 AM the following day. But for seven days, I stayed on that ward, locked behind two sets of doors and two security checks.

I was so homesick I thought I would die. They took my phone, my hairbrush, and even my eyeshadow compact. I was required to use plastic utensils and hospital-provided Styrofoam cups. I had to get used to asking for permission to shower or being supervised while I washed my clothes. My room contained only a bed and a chair, with no decoration or windows—only a large plexiglass window in the door so that the nurses could keep watch over me.

The Surprising Sanctuary

But do you know what? Today, I miss that place. The ability to just decide I had had enough human contact and close my door. The security in knowing that nothing would interrupt the flow of each day. I had no responsibilities, no stressors—just time and predictability. For a mind that constantly races, that forced predictability was a profound form of sanctuary.

The people I shared the floor with were a real shock initially. Never, except for when I had toddlers in the house, have I seen so many bare rear ends running down the halls! But they soon became family. I spent time each day getting to know them, listening to their stories, and learning about their hopes and plans. The common theme through all our vastly different experiences was this: "I just want to be happy, be loved, be needed."

The First Tactile Rebellion

The day before my release, I was granted a two-hour pass. I used it to hunt through the various hospital gift shops. I wanted my surrogate family to know that I heard them—that I would carry their stories with me. This was perhaps my very first act of Tactile Rebellion.

I purchased new magazines for the ladies (as there were none from the past decade). I got a Tim Hortons coffee for a lady who used to stop and have one every morning on her way to work. And for one young woman, I bought a small purple monkey with big eyes (just kidding about the real monkey... insert your favorite Bare Naked Ladies hit!).

When I returned and handed out these treasures, I felt like I had been given a glimpse of what small gestures could do. In that moment, I was able to touch those people and show them I thought they were pretty great.

Hypocrisy or Healing?

On my last night, I made sure to walk a few extra laps with the elderly lady who had attached herself to me. I watched an extra episode of The Big Bang Theory with my young friend, did a Bible study, and helped a man practice his speech to ask his doctor for permission to apply for a job. Most importantly, I spent time walking with a young man who was convinced he had nothing to offer the world.

I gently pointed out all the wonderful qualities I recognized in him, reassuring him that he had so much to offer and encouraging him to have the confidence to let others see the real him.

Pretty hypocritical, huh? Yep, I can see it. Reassuring him of the very things I couldn't see in myself.

The Card and the Contemplation

He left the day before me. Before he left, he gave me a handmade Christmas card, created from a pencil crayon he smuggled from the dining room and a piece of scrap paper. On it, he wrote that he appreciated my friendship and that he hoped I could see how much positivity I bring to the world. Pretty amazing, huh!

One week on that ward introduced me to people who will have changed my thinking forever, giving me time to contemplate who I am and time to just recharge my depleted body. I am so thankful for the time I spent there (not that I ever want to go again!).

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A Note from 2026: The Legacy of locked Doors

Looking back at this post today, I realize that this experience was the catalyst for the entire A World Outside My Window brand. That smuggled Christmas card proved to me that my voice—even when I felt hypocritical and broken—had power.

Every unboxing video, every review, and every shared "Friday Reset" in this empire is dedicated to that young man, and to everyone who has ever felt locked behind their own doors (mental or physical). We are a community built on the power of small gestures and the profound authority of connection.

Helpful Find : Review of Max Lucado's Anxious for Nothing

If you are like me at all then you are more than grateful when someone shares something that has provided them with any type of relief from the agony of depression and anxiety. For that reason I am sharing my thoughts on Max Lucado's latest book Anxious for Nothing : Finding Calm in a Chaotic World.

When you first read the title you are almost insulted by the implication that we are anxious over nothing. Of course we have a reasons why we are anxious. Fortunately it is all in the way you read it. Go ahead, take down that defensive barrier and read it again. Anxious for Nothing. Think of it as a battle cry against your anxiety.....I will become "Anxious for Nothing". Nothing will cause me to tremble in fear of the 1000's of what ifs that go around in my mind every hour of every day of my life. Whooo hooo.... that would be amazing. 

I wish it would be as simple as reading a book and it would all become a bad memory. However like any other tool in our arsenal it is something that takes time but does offer great insight.

The book is really a study of Philippians 4:4-8.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 

5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

I sat down on a quiet Sunday afternoon 2 weeks ago and read the book straight through, cover to cover in one sitting. It was very uplifting and thought provoking and I enjoyed it immensely. It planted a few seeds that I can expand upon in my journaling and prayer log. Most of all it provided me with a sense of renewal in my faith. It lifted the self inflicted burden I had placed upon myself about being a Christian Woman that feared what the future held. How did I profess to believe in an all powerful creator but yet not trust that he had a plan for my life? I don't know. I think that I was trying to have it all. I wanted to try to control everything in my life and then at the end of my days say here you are Lord this is what I did with the life you gave me. Instead I need to step back and say Lord what is it the you want to do in my life. Trust that he is in control. He has the plan. 

I purchased the study guide and DVD that go with the book and I am really looking forward to spending some time working through it. I wish I had a group to work with on this, but alas that is the plight of the socially akward, anxiety filled, individuals. Right?

I highly recommend this book guys. It is not going to fix everything for you but it may well give you a bit of peace. Who couldn't use a bit of that? Feel free to leave any links to reviews you have of things that are helping you in your journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

Tracy